scienceofselfhealing.com

I tell my clients that when we resolve an issue in one area of their life, it will most likely affect all life areas in some way; however, we can only resolve one major issue at a time - it’s the way the mind works. We’re “peeling the onion;” when you remove one layer, there’s another underneath it, and another under that, and so on. Getting to the center is a lifelong process, and occasionally, we need help along the way.

This is the story of David’s second breakthrough.

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David’s periodic episodes of arrhythmia, which he’d experienced for over 20 years, hadn’t come up in his first BreakThrough. He’d started experiencing episodes of panic that increased in severity until he was hospitalized. He became consumed by the fear that another such episode could endanger his life, and had started playing “what if….?” scenarios in his head. “What if this happens on a plane? What if it happens when I’m driving? What if I’m halfway around the world and it happens?” In short, that it could be risky for him to leave home at all!

All his tests were normal, and there was nothing wrong with his heart. His doctor told him it was an electrical issue brought on by stress; the medical protocol: drugs. David had been able to safely stop taking the prescription medications he’d taken for years to treat his PTSD and he didn’t want to take drugs. He’d worked hard to use healthy food and natural supplements to support his body. He knew from our prior work together that he was generating his own stress by how he was emotionally reacting to his perceptions of what was going on in his world.

He contacted me and we met to discuss how he was experiencing the mind/body connection in action; his feelings (emotions) were affecting his body. We knew right away that this was another situation where a complete BreakThrough was the optimal solution.

He was still experiencing all the positive changes from his 1st BreakThrough the previous year. He knew the process works, and that now he was encountering a different issue in a different area of his life.

We started immediately with a session of energy work to clear and balance his energy system, and I gave him a few suggestions and reminders for things he could do on his own before his first BreakThrough appointment. He reported feeling much better immediately - in the week between his energy session and the first BreakThrough session he experienced only a few “bumps”, or flutters in his heart rate; nothing that made him fearful of a significant event.

We incorporated energy work and some different techniques in breaking through this time, as this was a different issue requiring a different approach.

At his follow-up appointment, he expressed some concern that he might need a “recovery strategy,” a process to follow if he felt he was having difficulty enforcing his new boundaries and focusing on what he wants.

We revisited his desired outcome and how he’d know the problem was gone, and found that what he was experiencing was the confusion that results when old programs are disconnected - he WAS getting his desired outcome and the problem WAS gone. I asked him how he was dealing with situations that threatened his balance and we discovered that he’d already developed his own recovery strategy, using the tools I had taught him. His confidence was fully restored when he realized that he was doing all the right things.

David continues to report that his heart rhythm and blood pressure remain normal and he’s better able to manage his responses to events around him. In addition, he’s writing more than ever, and he commented that he hasn’t been as passionate about writing in over twenty years.

David returns periodically for “tune ups,” usually in the form of energy work or short coaching consultations designed to help him maintain balance. With this type of “maintenance,” he is able to continue moving forward toward his goal of health and well-being, knowing that if he uses the tools he’s learned and focuses on what he wants, he can achieve success.

You can read the story of David’s first BreakThrough here: http://scienceofselfhealing.com/blog/davids-first-breakthrough

David came to see me on the advice of a holistic practitioner he’d been seeing. A Vietnam veteran, David had experienced a multitude of traditional Western medical and holistic treatments and therapies for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The specific issues, the things he wanted to change, were the feeling that he was treading water, couldn’t do anything successfully, and that he was a victim of his life burdened by a terrible sadness that nothing could relieve.

As a writer with a publisher waiting in the wings for him to finish a novel, his creativity was crippled and his sense of futility blocked him from completing his book. This was especially serious for him, not only as a missed opportunity, but also because writing was one of his unrecognized methods of stress-relief. A recent trip to Africa and the experiences he had there had galvanized him to once again seek an alternative and change his life.

Most PTSD actually begins long before adulthood. In David’s case, childhood events led to the creation of certain behavior patterns (programs) in response to stress. These programs were reinforced by his Vietnam experiences and affected every area of his life. David chose to do an Ultimate BreakThrough.

What We Did Together

We determined what the greater problem was and how David would know it was gone. Practicing a couple of recommendations I made at the end of our first session, David reported a noticeable difference when he returned a few days later for his second session - he had not experienced one episode of paralyzing, overwhelming sadness in that time, something he said was “very unusual” (many BreakThrough clients report immediate improvement in how they feel after the first session). We used a variety of techniques, including NLP, Time Empowerment™, hypnosis and energy work, and we set a goal 8 weeks in David’s future. Four sessions (a total of 10 hours) later, we were done breaking through the issue that had brought David to me.

The End Result

David achieved his goal ahead of schedule - within a few weeks, he was writing again. Three months later, he sent me the first short story he’d written in a very long time, saying, “Just finished a very short story. You are responsible for this [his bold].” Of course, David is the one who was responsible; I was just his “tour guide,” having shown him how to get where he wanted to go.

His Testimonial

“…My family is pretty amazed with the way I’ve been since Flo Carpenter happened to me…the most significant thing is that I have not had any problem to date with that crippling sadness, and that is wonderful. Depression issues have not been a problem either. You have opened many doors for me. I have quit [going to] the PTSD ‘group’ sessions. The ‘friend’ who guides me, I now realize, is my unconscious mind, my oldest and most loyal companion.”

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My clients know that when we resolve an issue in one area of their life, it will most likely affect all areas in some way. However, we can only effectively resolve one major issue at a time - it’s the way the mind works - there is no magic pill or silver bullet that solves everything at once. We’re “peeling the onion,” meaning that when you remove one layer, there’s another underneath; getting to the core, our core, is a lifelong process, and occasionally, we need help along the way.

PTSD is much like the onion; it can be large or small, and have many layers or just a few. Watch for the story of David’s second BreakThrough experience one year later.

Anxiety is a warning from your unconscious mind to focus on what you want!

Just what does it take to change your life? Where do you start? What do you do? I get asked these questions by those who never gave it a thought before that moment, and by those who have read every self-help book they’ve come across and still couldn’t find the starting point that worked for them.There are definitely some concepts to understand and accept if you want to change something in yourself and your life. Over the next few weeks, I’ll tell you about some of them, beginning this week with The Mind/Body Connection.

The mind/body connection is created by naturally occurring chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters communicate your emotions, among other things, to every one of the trillions of cells in your body. Each cell has a physical reaction to every thought and feeling; subsequently, your thoughts and feelings have a direct impact on your physical well-being as well as your reality.

If you experience very strong negative feelings (emotions) often enough and for prolonged periods of time, your immune system can be compromised - things happen in your body that can result in a weakened ability to fight off disease or other health-related problems.

Consider this: physical pain is your unconscious mind screaming that there’s a negative emotion that you’ve ignored long enough to push it into physical manifestation. So remember that negativity is unhealthy for mind and spirit, and also for the physical body. When you experience it, ask yourself if it’s worth it - you may find that it’s not, & you’ll know that you’re on the path to change.

You’ve been practicing the first three steps in managing stress quickly when you’re on the run. BREATHING oxygenates your brain and body, having the DESIRE to deal with the stressful situation rather than hide from it shifts your energy into a more active state, and LETTING GO OF THE EMOTIONAL CHARGE of the situation helps you calm and center yourself; it also helps you obtain OBJECTIVITY. Now, let’s do something!

Feel yourself re-asserting control, and know that you’re in control of the elements of the situation that are yours to control. Picture yourself taking the appropriate action and dealing with the situation objectively, with impartial thoughts instead of emotional ones. See yourself getting the results you want; feel what that would feel like. You can do this is in the same way you imagined the water clearing the emotions from your body.

This is the point at which you move forward to TAKE ACTION - using what’s available to you for dealing with the situation in some constructive way. Remember, this is stress management on the run, so an interim, short-term improvement may be all that’s possible at the moment. That’s better than no improvement at all, and it’s certainly better than being drained by the mental/emotional/physical roller-coaster ride of stress!

This segment completes the series Stress 101 - Managing Stress on the Run. Use it in good health!

You’ve been making sure to BREATHE and face up to the situation causing the stress, and you have the DESIRE to deal with it effectively, thereby freeing yourself from its unhealthy aspects. What’s next?We’re generally not too effective when we’re letting our emotions run wild, and emotions are experienced by both mind and body. If you’re in a situation that’s putting you under severe stress you’re most likely experiencing emotions, even if you’re not consciously aware of them.

Anger, resentment, fear, guilt….any or all negative emotions can be running rampant through your mind and body, making you feel awful and having an unhealthy impact on you physically and emotionally. Also, thinking clearly and objectively is impossible when on an emotional ride, so LETTING THE EMOTIONS GO is step three in managing stress on the run.

How you let the emotions go depends on your relationship with your unconscious mind. Sometimes you can just ask it to release the emotions. Other times you need to give it a visual - a picture - to help it understand what you want. Try this while you’re taking some deep, lung-filling breaths: visualize light coming in to your body as you inhale, then when you exhale, envision the light coming out of the top of your head like a fountain, then falling down around your body, washing your body clean of emotion. Another technique is to imagine that you’re under gently running warm water that washes the emotions off your body and carries them away.

Create your own representation - it will be perfect for you. Do you think you can’t visualize? That’s OK - use your imagination to sense one of those scenarios, imagining what it feels like, sounds like, smells like, tastes like, to have your emotions washed away from you. Your unconscious mind will get the message.

Once the emotional charge is gone, notice how different the situation looks, and how much easier it is to consider solutions now that you’ve used the first three steps to move yourself toward a calm and centered state of mind, free of unpleasant emotional distress.

You now have 3 sequential steps to use in conquering the stress of the moment. BREATHE, take ownership of the issue and acknowledge your DESIRE to address it, and LET THE EMOTIONS GO so you can be calm and centered.

Part Four will let you know what to do next. Until then, practice handling your stress using these tips.

The first step of managing stress on the run is to BREATHE, deeply and fully, so brain and body are supported by the breath to function optimally. The next step is a little more personal, and it involves the DESIRE to resolve the stressful situation.It’s tempting to think that if you ignore something it will go away, and sometimes it even works that way, at least for a while. Not so much with stress. Stress may seem to go away if you ignore it, but what really happens is it goes “underground,” perhaps lurking somewhere in your body where it can cause long term damage. Like it or not, once you’ve become stressed, whatever the cause of that stress is now owned by you. There’s no way around it - you let it in, now you have to deal with it.

This is where DESIRE comes in. In order to deal with something effectively (note the word “effectively”), you need to want to handle it; it must be your intention to deal with the situation and put it to rest. To do this you need to acknowledge the issue, face up to it, accept that it’s real for you (regardless of what others think or feel), and know that you can handle it and find the best possible way to do so.

The next time you realize you’re experiencing signs of stress, stop and BREATHE, and open yourself up to the DESIRE to resolve the cause easily, effortlessly, and effectively, and save your mind and body from the unpleasant effects of stress.

Meditation is incredibly effective in managing stress overall, and I highly recommend it, but it takes some time, some quiet, & a setting conducive to going within and listening to the silence. What can you do, “in the moment,” to get through stressful situations? Stress 101 is a series of easy tips for dealing with stress when chaos strikes.

You know how stress makes you feel - the rapid heartbeat that seems to make it hard to breathe, perhaps a mild shaking of the hands, or sweaty palms; the feeling that you can’t think straight, and if you’ve carried the stress long enough, you may have lost sleep because of it. Stress begins in the mind, but what you may not realize is that due to the mind/body connection, your entire body experiences it too, within seconds after you become aware that you’re stressed. Stress can eventually compromise your body’s defenses in many ways, and it can kill, as the American Medical Association noted in the 1960’s.

One of the first things many people do when they become stressed, is “chest-breathe,” breathing in a shallow way that brings air into the very top of the chest, but doesn’t inflate the lungs fully. When you do this, you don’t bring in the amount of oxygen your body needs to function optimally, and this especially affects your brain, which uses a large amount of oxygen. If the brain doesn’t get the oxygen it needs for optimal operation, even more stress is created, coping with it becomes even more difficult, and there can be a tendency to react with more emotion than reason.

So the first rule of dealing with stress on the run is BREATHE. Fill your lungs as much as you can, breathing in deeply and slowly, then exhale slowly and completely, picturing tension leaving your body as the breath leaves your lungs. Do this three or four times, or until you start to feel calmer. This helps prepare you for taking the next step, but is itself a powerful way to help your body cope with a situation that it finds uncomfortable.

From now on, when you realize you’re feeling “stressed out,” take a moment to breathe mindfully, with deliberation and the intent to rid your physical body of tension and bring light and air in to every cell. And stay tuned for Part Two of Stress 101: DESIRE.

I met a man the other day, a U.S. military veteran of the wars in the Middle East who has come home & returned to the workforce. He said that no one returns from that conflict unmarked; actually, he said everyone returns “not quite right,” including himself. He’s been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the bane of warriors since the beginning of time, and he sees a therapist in his home city of Chicago.

In April, the Rand Corp. released the results of a study of returning veterans. The study showed that about 300,000 U.S. troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan (about 18.5%) suffer symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder or depression, roughly the same results of a government study released in February. The Rand study goes on to conclude that only about half of these returning veterans receive care, and that in half of those cases the care is only “minimally adequate.”

With few exceptions, humans have to be “psyched up” for war - physically, mentally, emotionally, & yes, even spiritually. Does this preparation just evaporate when the need is over? Absolutely not. The conscious mind rationalizes that “I’m home now; it’s over. I can get back to my life…,” but the unconscious mind, which was the target of the preparation, has to release not only the conditioning (training), but also the post traumatic stress itself. You don’t just talk yourself out of it.

The ancient Hawaiians knew that warriors returning home couldn’t just lay down their arms and return to society as if they’d never left. There were places of refuge in the Islands where the warriors went for a period of adjustment; where healers helped them clear their minds and emotions, balance their energies, and remember what it was to be the husband, father, son, or brother, and member of a community. They didn’t go home until this process was complete, for it was understood that it could be disastrous to release a warrior still in battle condition back into society - disastrous for both the citizen and the society. In their culture, there was no mental illness, no “depression”, no post traumatic stress, and outside of war, rare violence against members of their own society.

We tend to think of post traumatic stress as strictly a result of war. This is not so - victims of violence, especially children, often experience this malady. In my study and my work, I’ve found that the post traumatic stress that surfaces during or after a war experience often has its roots early in life. I worked with a veteran who had been in traditional therapies for this disorder since returning from Vietnam in the 1970’s. It was his war experience that resulted in the diagnosis, but his first experience with post traumatic stress occurred when he was five years old.

We continue to work together occasionally; and he’s made what he considers amazing progress over the course of 15 months when compared to the previous 36 years of treatment. The commonly used Western therapies have proven to be largely ineffective in terms of significant relief or resolution. On the other hand, holistic techniques such as NeuroLinguistic Programming, hypnosis, and energy work are highly effective in releasing the wounds and bringing a person back into balance in a relatively short period of time.

If you or someone you know is struggling to find relief and release from post traumatic stress, find a practitioner of these holistic methods, the sooner the better, so the programs of war and violence can be dismantled.

And to those who serve on our behalf, I send the Light of love, compassion, and gratitude, and wish you many blessings as you remember your way back home.

A lot of my talks revolve around stress, its impact on the mind and body, and techniques for managing it. A few years ago I came across an article about stress that I share with my clients, and today, I want to share it with you.

How much does stress weigh? It depends. A glass half-filled with water weighs a few ounces, and if you held it in your hand with your arm outstretched for a minute or so, it wouldn’t feel heavy. Held like this for an hour, your arm will ache; hold it for a day, never putting it down to rest, and you’ll be making a trip to the emergency room.

Stress has the same effect - if you carry it constantly and never put it down, the burden becomes un-bearable and it’s harder and harder to move forward. You have to put it down, if not permanently, then at least long enough to give your mind and body a chance to rest and refresh.

Life is short enough as it is - and stress can shorten it further, and even end it in a heartbeat. Managing your stress so that it doesn’t manage you is a topic for another time. For now, here are a few thoughts to help you put stress in perspective and allow the light of laughter into the darker corners where your stresses lurk:

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their manufacturer.

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can’t push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

The second mouse gets the cheese.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

When your load is too heavy, let your friends and the Universe help you carry it.

In the near future, I’ll post a series of tips for managing stress that are quick, easy, and realistic. Until then, always remember to FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT.