scienceofselfhealing.com

You’ve been practicing the first three steps in managing stress quickly when you’re on the run. BREATHING oxygenates your brain and body, having the DESIRE to deal with the stressful situation rather than hide from it shifts your energy into a more active state, and LETTING GO OF THE EMOTIONAL CHARGE of the situation helps you calm and center yourself; it also helps you obtain OBJECTIVITY. Now, let’s do something!

Feel yourself re-asserting control, and know that you’re in control of the elements of the situation that are yours to control. Picture yourself taking the appropriate action and dealing with the situation objectively, with impartial thoughts instead of emotional ones. See yourself getting the results you want; feel what that would feel like. You can do this is in the same way you imagined the water clearing the emotions from your body.

This is the point at which you move forward to TAKE ACTION - using what’s available to you for dealing with the situation in some constructive way. Remember, this is stress management on the run, so an interim, short-term improvement may be all that’s possible at the moment. That’s better than no improvement at all, and it’s certainly better than being drained by the mental/emotional/physical roller-coaster ride of stress!

This segment completes the series Stress 101 - Managing Stress on the Run. Use it in good health!

You’ve been making sure to BREATHE and face up to the situation causing the stress, and you have the DESIRE to deal with it effectively, thereby freeing yourself from its unhealthy aspects. What’s next?We’re generally not too effective when we’re letting our emotions run wild, and emotions are experienced by both mind and body. If you’re in a situation that’s putting you under severe stress you’re most likely experiencing emotions, even if you’re not consciously aware of them.

Anger, resentment, fear, guilt….any or all negative emotions can be running rampant through your mind and body, making you feel awful and having an unhealthy impact on you physically and emotionally. Also, thinking clearly and objectively is impossible when on an emotional ride, so LETTING THE EMOTIONS GO is step three in managing stress on the run.

How you let the emotions go depends on your relationship with your unconscious mind. Sometimes you can just ask it to release the emotions. Other times you need to give it a visual - a picture - to help it understand what you want. Try this while you’re taking some deep, lung-filling breaths: visualize light coming in to your body as you inhale, then when you exhale, envision the light coming out of the top of your head like a fountain, then falling down around your body, washing your body clean of emotion. Another technique is to imagine that you’re under gently running warm water that washes the emotions off your body and carries them away.

Create your own representation - it will be perfect for you. Do you think you can’t visualize? That’s OK - use your imagination to sense one of those scenarios, imagining what it feels like, sounds like, smells like, tastes like, to have your emotions washed away from you. Your unconscious mind will get the message.

Once the emotional charge is gone, notice how different the situation looks, and how much easier it is to consider solutions now that you’ve used the first three steps to move yourself toward a calm and centered state of mind, free of unpleasant emotional distress.

You now have 3 sequential steps to use in conquering the stress of the moment. BREATHE, take ownership of the issue and acknowledge your DESIRE to address it, and LET THE EMOTIONS GO so you can be calm and centered.

Part Four will let you know what to do next. Until then, practice handling your stress using these tips.

The first step of managing stress on the run is to BREATHE, deeply and fully, so brain and body are supported by the breath to function optimally. The next step is a little more personal, and it involves the DESIRE to resolve the stressful situation.It’s tempting to think that if you ignore something it will go away, and sometimes it even works that way, at least for a while. Not so much with stress. Stress may seem to go away if you ignore it, but what really happens is it goes “underground,” perhaps lurking somewhere in your body where it can cause long term damage. Like it or not, once you’ve become stressed, whatever the cause of that stress is now owned by you. There’s no way around it - you let it in, now you have to deal with it.

This is where DESIRE comes in. In order to deal with something effectively (note the word “effectively”), you need to want to handle it; it must be your intention to deal with the situation and put it to rest. To do this you need to acknowledge the issue, face up to it, accept that it’s real for you (regardless of what others think or feel), and know that you can handle it and find the best possible way to do so.

The next time you realize you’re experiencing signs of stress, stop and BREATHE, and open yourself up to the DESIRE to resolve the cause easily, effortlessly, and effectively, and save your mind and body from the unpleasant effects of stress.

Meditation is incredibly effective in managing stress overall, and I highly recommend it, but it takes some time, some quiet, & a setting conducive to going within and listening to the silence. What can you do, “in the moment,” to get through stressful situations? Stress 101 is a series of easy tips for dealing with stress when chaos strikes.

You know how stress makes you feel - the rapid heartbeat that seems to make it hard to breathe, perhaps a mild shaking of the hands, or sweaty palms; the feeling that you can’t think straight, and if you’ve carried the stress long enough, you may have lost sleep because of it. Stress begins in the mind, but what you may not realize is that due to the mind/body connection, your entire body experiences it too, within seconds after you become aware that you’re stressed. Stress can eventually compromise your body’s defenses in many ways, and it can kill, as the American Medical Association noted in the 1960’s.

One of the first things many people do when they become stressed, is “chest-breathe,” breathing in a shallow way that brings air into the very top of the chest, but doesn’t inflate the lungs fully. When you do this, you don’t bring in the amount of oxygen your body needs to function optimally, and this especially affects your brain, which uses a large amount of oxygen. If the brain doesn’t get the oxygen it needs for optimal operation, even more stress is created, coping with it becomes even more difficult, and there can be a tendency to react with more emotion than reason.

So the first rule of dealing with stress on the run is BREATHE. Fill your lungs as much as you can, breathing in deeply and slowly, then exhale slowly and completely, picturing tension leaving your body as the breath leaves your lungs. Do this three or four times, or until you start to feel calmer. This helps prepare you for taking the next step, but is itself a powerful way to help your body cope with a situation that it finds uncomfortable.

From now on, when you realize you’re feeling “stressed out,” take a moment to breathe mindfully, with deliberation and the intent to rid your physical body of tension and bring light and air in to every cell. And stay tuned for Part Two of Stress 101: DESIRE.

I met a man the other day, a U.S. military veteran of the wars in the Middle East who has come home & returned to the workforce. He said that no one returns from that conflict unmarked; actually, he said everyone returns “not quite right,” including himself. He’s been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the bane of warriors since the beginning of time, and he sees a therapist in his home city of Chicago.

In April, the Rand Corp. released the results of a study of returning veterans. The study showed that about 300,000 U.S. troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan (about 18.5%) suffer symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder or depression, roughly the same results of a government study released in February. The Rand study goes on to conclude that only about half of these returning veterans receive care, and that in half of those cases the care is only “minimally adequate.”

With few exceptions, humans have to be “psyched up” for war - physically, mentally, emotionally, & yes, even spiritually. Does this preparation just evaporate when the need is over? Absolutely not. The conscious mind rationalizes that “I’m home now; it’s over. I can get back to my life…,” but the unconscious mind, which was the target of the preparation, has to release not only the conditioning (training), but also the post traumatic stress itself. You don’t just talk yourself out of it.

The ancient Hawaiians knew that warriors returning home couldn’t just lay down their arms and return to society as if they’d never left. There were places of refuge in the Islands where the warriors went for a period of adjustment; where healers helped them clear their minds and emotions, balance their energies, and remember what it was to be the husband, father, son, or brother, and member of a community. They didn’t go home until this process was complete, for it was understood that it could be disastrous to release a warrior still in battle condition back into society - disastrous for both the citizen and the society. In their culture, there was no mental illness, no “depression”, no post traumatic stress, and outside of war, rare violence against members of their own society.

We tend to think of post traumatic stress as strictly a result of war. This is not so - victims of violence, especially children, often experience this malady. In my study and my work, I’ve found that the post traumatic stress that surfaces during or after a war experience often has its roots early in life. I worked with a veteran who had been in traditional therapies for this disorder since returning from Vietnam in the 1970’s. It was his war experience that resulted in the diagnosis, but his first experience with post traumatic stress occurred when he was five years old.

We continue to work together occasionally; and he’s made what he considers amazing progress over the course of 15 months when compared to the previous 36 years of treatment. The commonly used Western therapies have proven to be largely ineffective in terms of significant relief or resolution. On the other hand, holistic techniques such as NeuroLinguistic Programming, hypnosis, and energy work are highly effective in releasing the wounds and bringing a person back into balance in a relatively short period of time.

If you or someone you know is struggling to find relief and release from post traumatic stress, find a practitioner of these holistic methods, the sooner the better, so the programs of war and violence can be dismantled.

And to those who serve on our behalf, I send the Light of love, compassion, and gratitude, and wish you many blessings as you remember your way back home.

A lot of my talks revolve around stress, its impact on the mind and body, and techniques for managing it. A few years ago I came across an article about stress that I share with my clients, and today, I want to share it with you.

How much does stress weigh? It depends. A glass half-filled with water weighs a few ounces, and if you held it in your hand with your arm outstretched for a minute or so, it wouldn’t feel heavy. Held like this for an hour, your arm will ache; hold it for a day, never putting it down to rest, and you’ll be making a trip to the emergency room.

Stress has the same effect - if you carry it constantly and never put it down, the burden becomes un-bearable and it’s harder and harder to move forward. You have to put it down, if not permanently, then at least long enough to give your mind and body a chance to rest and refresh.

Life is short enough as it is - and stress can shorten it further, and even end it in a heartbeat. Managing your stress so that it doesn’t manage you is a topic for another time. For now, here are a few thoughts to help you put stress in perspective and allow the light of laughter into the darker corners where your stresses lurk:

Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their manufacturer.

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can’t push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

The second mouse gets the cheese.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

When your load is too heavy, let your friends and the Universe help you carry it.

In the near future, I’ll post a series of tips for managing stress that are quick, easy, and realistic. Until then, always remember to FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT.

Sandra had worked with me on another issue three years prior and as a 32-year old professional with a young daughter, she now felt ready to focus on her weight challenge.  She felt she had tried every proven way to try to lose weight, but recognized that she had repeatedly sabotaged herself.  We began talking about her problem; she blamed her weight for her lack of self-confidence, her fear intimacy, her reluctance to try new activities, and her lack of energy.

She also felt a deep need to control every aspect of her life, scheduling practically every waking moment.  She felt that weight reduction would enable her to enjoy her life and be a positive role model for her child.

Actually, her weight was a symptom of greater, more deeply rooted problem.

What We Did Together

We identified how she would know the problem had disappeared, and what the outcome would be.  We then used several NLP, Time Empowerment™ & Hypnosis techniques to disconnect the behavior patterns (programs) her mind had been running since childhood.

She identified a goal she wanted to achieve and we set that goal in her future Time Line so her Unconscious Mind would know what to aim for.

The End Result

Over the following eight to ten months, although she didn’t focus on it in thought or eating habits, her weight dropped by over 60 pounds.

Today, she’s 72 pounds lighter than she was the day we completed her BreakThrough nearly two years ago.

Her Testimonial

“Flo helped me release old negative patterns of self-sabotage caused by child abuse. That was huge, absolutely huge to my self worth. I felt an immediate difference.

Flo’s is extremely compassionate. She has a way for people who have been failed by counseling, who have given up, who have issues with trust. She teaches people how to heal themselves.

She helped me manifest my dreams. I didn’t understand that I could aim high; I had limitations on my dreams. Now I don’t. It was worth everything I ever invested emotionally, physically or economically. I was trying to control my destiny; I wasn’t living in the moment. Now I have more freedom and enjoyment in my life.”

Sandra, Executive Director, Glens Falls, NY

Five-year-old Sandra was watching the Bad News Bears movie when the sounds of an argument prompted her go see what as going on. She peeked around a corner just in time to see her mother shot by her violent step-father. Her mother survived, and stayed with her abusive husband, and Sandra forever associated the Bad News Bears movie, the theme song, TV ads and billboard with this event, so much so that the mere sound or sight of this film would set off a panic attack.

What We Did Together

Twenty-seven years later, we met several times in a volunteer setting and she became a willing student for The Ultimate Breakthrough Program. I warned her that once we disconnected the old emotional response systems and behavior patterns she’d been running since she was five-years old, she might experience confusion at some points. This would mean that her mind could no longer run an old pattern, and wouldn’t know what to do. THAT’s when there’s an opportunity to create a new response to an old feeling.

The End Result

About 10 days later, I received a call from her, and her first words were, “I have to tell you something that happened that scared me at first. I was on the phone with my mother, and the TV was on. A Bad News Bears ad came on and I was overwhelmed with this weird feeling…I don’t know – it was kind of like fear! Then I remembered what you said about confusion, and realized that it wasn’t fear at all. Because nothing happened! I didn’t get a panic attack! You were absolutely right – the old pattern was gone, and until I caught on, I was confused! It was amazing!”

Her Testimonial

“I tended to be very angry but didn’t verbalize it. I had all this sadness and these self-worth issues. When we did the Breakthrough I realized this was something that went back to my childhood trauma. It even went back before my childhood. It was a family thing; it was generational.

Flo helped me release old negative patterns of self-sabotage caused by child abuse. That was huge, absolutely huge to my self worth. I felt an immediate difference.

Flo’s is extremely compassionate. She has a way for people who have been failed by counseling, who have given up, who have issues with trust. She teaches people how to heal themselves.

She helped me manifest my dreams. I didn’t understand that I could aim high; I had limitations on my dreams. Now I don’t. It was worth everything I ever invested emotionally, physically or economically. I was trying to control my destiny; I wasn’t living in the moment. Now I have more freedom and enjoyment in my life.”

Sandra, Executive Director, Glens Falls, NY

Pat came to me when she realized that all the “self-help” books on her bookshelf weren’t helping her resolve an issue that was having a major impact on her career. She felt unable to move forward and therefore, unable to succeed, both personally and professionally. Two years prior, she had lost her biggest cheerleader – her husband, who had passed away. On top of this, her new manager was constantly giving her negative feedback, much of it personalized, and didn’t provide support or tools for improving her work performance. Pat felt repeatedly and publicly denigrated in front of her peers and subordinates. Frustrating to say the least!

What We Did Together

The BreakThrough process is very well-suited for this type of issue because it literally “breaks through” the boundaries of a problem, allowing it to be reshaped or collapsed by the client’s unconscious mind with the new skills the client learns. My client began feeling the difference almost immediately as she began to understand how the events in her life had created the person she was in the present – one full of self-doubt, lack of self-worth and full of fear and anger. She realized her situation at work was a reflection of all those inner feelings.I taught her techniques for standing in her own power and new ways of perceiving the world around her. She soon found herself empowered to change her life and began doing so even before we finished the BreakThrough process. As the BreakThrough process started loosening the grip of the root causes of her problem and disconnecting old programs that were no longer appropriate for her today, she found herself able to follow through with the information she had picked up from self-help books in the past. By changing the way she thinks, she changed the way she FELT, and with that, she found the self-confidence to do the things she needed to do to grow personally, professionally, and spiritually.The End Result

She has since achieved goals she had been striving for with little success in the past, both professional and personal. Several months later, her family, friends, and coworkers are still amazed at the changes in her, and continue to tell her that they’ve never seen her so happy, positive, and sure of herself.

Her Testimonial

“My career was stalled. I knew what I needed to do, but for some reason, I doubted my ability to succeed in doing it and feared that I would fail. I was stuck and not moving forward in this vital area of my life.Then I spoke with Flo about this issue and she suggested that we do what she calls a Breakthrough to literally break through whatever barriers were creating my self-doubt and keeping me from succeeding in my chosen career field. We worked together for about nine hours over the course of a week and my life changed so much it not only amazed me, but everyone who knows me!

When Flo says “Change your emotions, change your life….” she really means it! The changes affected not only my work, but every area of my life, AND I learned techniques that I can now apply on my own to other issues that come up.’

Pat – Manager, Glens Falls, NY